This is kind of long and I’m sorry in advance... If you want a quick summary I put one at the bottom.

Thank you to anyone who reads this and/or gives their opinion 💕

Long version:

I was 17 at the time, it was almost a year ago now, and I had just started going to parties. I was shy but alcohol allowed me to be outgoing. I started to receive male attention, and I liked it. But it quickly went too fair. Many times guys would touch me inappropriately, and I was always too drunk to say anything, so I generally would just try to get out of the situation - which often was quite difficult. I know this sort of thing, and even worse things, happen at parties all the time. Especially to girls... But something a little worse happened... I was out with a guy I had met at one of these parties. He was 18, and we had gone out many times during that summer, maybe 8 or 9 “dates” by this time. I just turned 18 and was leaving for college, in another state, the next day - so he asked if he could take me out. My favourite thing to do was go to the drive-in, I loved cuddling outside in the trunk of his car - and I definitely didn’t mind the make out sessions that usually accompanied it. He had gotten “handsy” the last few times we had been together - he even took off my bra. But I never let him get his hands down my pants, I was not comfortable with that. So the first movie was over and we were making out, about 30 minutes (maybe even longer) goes by and he tries to put his hand down my pants again. I make up an excuse and say “it’s that time of the month” or whatever, but then he put my hand on his boner (over his pants). I was not even comfortable with this but I didn’t know what to do, so I just moved my hand away. Then he pulls his pants down and tries to make me give him a hand job. But I wouldn’t, I wasn’t comfortable with it, so I move my hand away again. And he asks me what’s wrong, I say something along the lines of “I’ve never done anything like this,” and I am pretty sure I made it clear I didn’t want to. He pulled his pants back up, and laid back. We cuddled for a bit, watching the second movie, and then we were making out again - and this time he made me give him the hand job. He basically was moving my hand bc I was not going to do it - I didn’t want to - I just didn’t know how to tell him that. I was too nervous and afraid to tell him that I didn’t want to. So I just pulled my hand away right when I was able to - a little after he let go of my hand.

Summary:

A guy that I had gone out with for about two months, and had been making out with, made me give him a hand job. I didn’t say no, but I told him I had never done anything like that before and I feel like it was evident that I was uncomfortable with doing it. But he made me do it.

Because I didn’t say no I feel like it wasn’t sexual assault.

Was it?

(I wasn’t totally sure if this was the right place to post this, hopefully this is alright 🙈)