I don’t want guys to control my self esteem but it’s really hard to feel confident with myself these days. The three (very different) guys I’ve ever been seriously involved with all chased after me and then when I finally gave in, they strung me along, never committed, and just treated me passive-aggressively. What first started hitting my self esteem was thinking that my appearance could be the issue and that maybe they didn’t want to commit because there were better options out there. I never really dressed up that much in high school and I was pretty average looking but I’d like to say I glowed up in college and all three of these guys (even after we were done) acknowledged my glo up so I knew that couldn’t be the real issue anymore. Then, I became concerned with my personality. This was actually worse than being insecure about my looks because this is something I can’t change. What really broke my confidence was after the third guy started to taunt me about my flaws and got our whole friend group in on it. I ended up being really depressed for four months because I just felt insecure about everything and gave into self-loathing. I just don’t understand how this keeps happening to me. When I fall, I fall hard. I’m incredibly loyal and supportive of that person! I can honestly say I’m a nice person too so why do I keep getting treated like shit? Each of these guys even admitted later on that they treated me badly so I know it wasn’t my fault but I can’t help feeling like it was. I just want to know how I can avoid going through this same terrible treatment again because I am tired of it and this fear makes it harder for me to open up with anyone else now.