to much fear

I had an hour sleep and woke up with loads of fear about miscarriage again. I am now sat on the sofa crying and shaking and i really like to talk to someone. When i first found out i didnt know how i feel. This week it started to sink in i was happy and excited and scared but now its all fear. This will be my 9th pregnancy. Got 1 son who nearly 7 year old. Others are in heaven. Has any ladies on here had so many miscarriages and fall pregnant again with a healthy pregnancy. I dont know if am 4 weeks and 3days or 8weeks and 3 days.. had period on 30th jan but i dont know if i had a period on 26th feb as it was light and only last fr few days normally my period are medium to heavy