Anxiety and depression and pregnancy....

I knew that I had depression for years, and I have anxiety attacks. It runs on my mom’s side of the family. Every single woman has some form of depression, most of them are bipolar though. I have never been to the doctor about it because most of my moms side (including my mom) have a history of drug abuse as well. It scares me and I don’t want to become dependent on drugs to make life just seem better. So I’ve always used my own coping skills.

Now that I’m pregnant the anxiety/panic attacks are more frequent and are way stronger. I have way more days where I feel depressed than others. I can find a quick fix sometimes, but then it comes back. I don’t know what to do. I also have suicidal thoughts often.

I plan to talk to my OBGYN about it. I’m almost 19 weeks pregnant and I’m just terrified of taking medication while pregnant. I’m afraid they’ll cause birth defects. My first two children were born so healthy and those pregnancies weren’t anything like this one is. Although I had it super easy during those pregnancies as well. I have life changing things going on and have been the past 3 years. So it’s been up and down since.

Please, what should I do? Should I take medication? If so, how do I get over this fear of taking it while I’m pregnant? I just don’t know what to do.