Am I failure?

Question

Sooo I am 18, and just got out of a relationship around Valentine’s Day. When me and my ex broke up, he said some things that really jumped out at me. 
Just some info about my life! I was in college studying Traditional Chinese medicine! Had to drop out and move back home, due to some health issues. It was a tough decision but I felt it was the right one, and I would still make the same choice today if I had to. I am currently a full time nanny for 4 kids and I love them all to death and I am happy taking care of them! I live at home with my parents, but I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing, since I help them out whenever I can and it’s close to the house I work at. 
Now, he says that I’m a failure because I don’t have a “real” job...he says that maybe if I had a better job and a nice car he would be happy with me. He also said that me dropping out of college was a stupid idea and he doesn’t want somebody who has no life. All of this hurt me to the point where I couldn’t even believe my own ears. I have never seen myself as a failure. But then I started to believe it. I know that not everything has gone to plan, but I wasn’t disappointed in myself until I realized that he’s thought this about me our entire relationship. Basically my question is, is he right? I just want to know if I really am that much of a failure and far behind in life. Opinions?

Answer

you're not a failure. do not take what a bitter ex says at the point of break up as fact. You are prioritising your health, have a job, and contributing to your family home. you are also incredibly young. let the ex stay an ex and keep the door firmly closed. Stay strong. and move forward.

Answer

He sounds like a loser. You're not a failure, you are so young. If he thinks he'd be happier with you if you had a nice car and a better job then he's immature and superficial and not worth your time. You'll figure things out eventually I didn't know what I wanted to be until I was 29. Let it go. Move on and enjoy your life ❤️

Answer

That guy is a failure as a human being. 
What an asshole! 
You are doing just fine. You have a job and the future generations are staying at home longer! Nothing wrong with that. It’s called “sandwich generations” and it actually proves to be a lot healthier on families mentally and financially but the biggest benefit is EMOTIONALLY! 
You have the support you need let that boy go and do what you have to to make yourself happy because that is all that matters!

Answer

everyone else has already said everything I'd say so I'm just going to say
ABSOFREAKINGLUTELY NOT

Answer

You are doing awesome! Do what makes you happy! A job is a job regardless!

Answer

You are not a failure. You are 18 with a job that alone shows you are responsible and motivated to do something. at the end of the day no one, no even the people on this app, have the right to judge you. Only you can determine if you are happy and proud of yourself and your life but my vote is to feel proud of who you are and realize life doesn't often go as planned but it is ever changing and you have every opportunity to live the life you want and are happiest in no matter what anyone else thinks.

Answer

No, if you are a nanny and enjoy what you're doing, that's not a failure. There are a lot of people that have to live with their parents because of the economy. As for school, if you decide it's not for you or not worth it to go back, then oh well. You could pursue other school options if you want to but don't do it for anyone other than yourself. He seems like an unsupportive jerk. If you were able to find a partner where both of your incomes would be sufficient to live together on your own, then of course you would probably be doing that. Forget about him and move on as he clearly was not the right guy for you.

Answer

By my reckoning getting onto the course of your choice, recognising the need to prioritise your health and working a very respectable full time job in the interim, whilst contributing to the family home, is the definition of stable and successful! Your sense, maturity and strength of character at eighteen is remarkable and you’ve no reason to feel anything but proud of yourself! X

Answer

I have a college degree plus all my course work completed for my teaching credential. I worked as a nanny for over 10 years. The last job I had I was making  60k a year watching one child from the time he was five, until 10. I left when I had my baby. I made more money at that job then I would have as a teacher! I wouldn't trade my time as a nanny for anything in the world! I don't care if anyone thought it was a bad job. I was making great money, just hanging out with a cool kid all day! Don't let anyone make you doubt yourself!

Answer

Thanks ladies, the support really helps❤️. I know that in the big picture nobody’s opinions should matter. But I’m trying to move on from the words he said, and knowing that I’m not doing horribly in life like he said, really helps.

Am I failure?

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