Anxiety about having sex? Need advice

*Posted in another place 😋*

Hi all. I’m Sabine! I’m currently in vet school and just got into a relationship with the guy of my dreams after being with a bunch of assholes throughout my life. I grew up in a really strict house, my parents are very religious and my mom is Hispanic so she has always been hard on me. Sex has always been something she never talked to me about and she always made me think it was bad and no matter what I would do even using protection would lead me to get pregnant. Because of this I think that is why I struggle so much with having sex, like I love it don’t get me wrong, but I’m just so afraid of getting pregnant because of what my mom has told me. My friends are super careless, they take their pills at random times and hate condoms so they just use pull out. I know I am being a lot smarter and safer than them but I still am so nervous!

I am on birth control, Junel Fe combination pills to be exact. Also, with everyone guy I have been with I use a condom for extra protection. The guy I’m with right now is not ready for a kid either so we use a condom every time. We had sex for the first time a couple of weeks ago, I’m on the pill like I said and we used a condom of course. After having sex, a couple days later I got so much anxiety about being pregnant. Then the week after I got put on antibiotics for a sinus infection and we had sex during that week with a condom of course. Then my placebo week came for my birth control and I got such a light spotty period! I have been terrified I am pregnant. I have really bad anxiety as it is so I get myself all worked up and I can easily make myself have pregnancy like symptoms because of my anxiety. I know antibiotics can decrease the effectiveness of the pill but we did use a condom. I just freaked out because of that and hearing these horror stories of women getting pregnant this way (not sure if they used a condom though)! I am taking a test tomorrow to ease my anxiety since I have a lot of work to do in vet school I just do not need added stress.

I just want some advice on how to get over this “fear”? I am very safe, taking my pill at the same time and using a condom every single time but I still freak out!! It’s definitely because of how I was raised and what my mom told me. I love her to pieces and know she wanted to keep me safe but she shouldn’t have freaked me out so much haha! I am ready to have sex and be in the AMAZING relationship with this amazing guy and have sex with him but I just need to get over this fear. Any help ladies? 😭