Update further down:

i keep telling myself i deserve better

i deserve better than to go from working 13 hours to then having to wait on someone hand and foot when i get home

i deserve better than to get kicked if i say or do something he doesnt like

i deserve better then to get yelled at every time i say no to anything he says

I deserve better than having to be scared to go out in public fear of him having an outburst

i deserve lot better so why dont i change anything?

so today something happened and i think it pushed me over the edge

he kept asking me for something and finally i said "get a job" and he got really pissed and left me and my cousins at the mall but only for maybe 10 mins i called him and he answered "fuck off bitch"

so i figured id find another way home bc when hes angry he drives really recklessy and i dont wanna put my cousins that are 4 and 6 in danger

well he calmed down a bit after some yelling at me and calling me a bitch so i get in the car and as he's driving he keeps pushing my head not hitting it but almost

then he turned the music up to the max and my cousin asked him to turn it down but he ignored so i went to turn it down and he slapped my arm hard i kept trying to but he kept hitting my arm over and over again until i finally stopped

then we get home and i try turning it down again which ended up in him pulling my index finger back and it didnt break thank god but for a second i thought it did

idk what to do i have no money no car im only 16 and idk what to do i just wanna kick him out

but idk where hed go and i still (stupidly) love him

any advice?