I don’t know anymore

It’s been 4 years.

4 years of trying. 4 years of tears every time my period shows. 2 years of medication and injections and tests and procedures. 3 years of trying to explain to family and friends why we haven’t had a baby together yet. He has one already so why can’t we have one together.

I’ve tried everything beneath ivf there is out there including not trying and not thinking about it.

I’ve spent the last 4 years not having a drink at the bbq because my period is late again and this could be the month again. But it’s only been THE month once...and I lost it a few weeks later.

My husband wants a baby so bad. So do I. I just don’t think it’s going to happen anymore.

Maybe this is just another one of my monthly down swings, but it’s definitely a rough one.

I just want it to be easy and natural and normal...like everyone else around me.

Sorry for the venting. Every one of my friends that I’ve talked to about this either just had a baby or is pregnant.