Every month during this time

I say I’m not going to google it, I’m not going symptom spot, And here I am doing it again. How do I stop this madness during this tww? I’m only on cd 17 of a 27day cycle. All I want and think about every day is a bfp! It’s been 7 months since my miscarriage! I would of been 9 months this month! 😢 baby dust to all!!! Sorry I just needed to vent