I’m angry 😡

So I was dating this man for 5 years off and on and we have had some good but more bad but been friends since I was 15 years old but I have always been there for him no matter if we was arguing or not when his daughter needed help with prom it was me to go out with her when his other daughter need a referral for a house be she had bad experience with prior land lords but when I truly needed him to be by my side he wasn’t my was shot standing on the corner waiting for the bus to go to work first off I’m angry by I have a good son I also want to thank good for not taken him away from me but my son was in surgery for 7 hours and we lived in the hospital for 32 days u know my so called man only came to the hospital 3 times I’m so hurt 😭 I’m angry he has tried to call but I’m done I’m so done never ask did I eat so I need anything nothing my son had his colon cut digestive system cut and put into his small intestine and then caught a infection another procesure then they hit his lungs nd he had fluid build up another surgery nd you wanstthere for me when I have least been there for his dumb as always even to help him get a car I’m am in range but I guess this was god way of telling this man is not the man for you trust I hear him loud nd clear but it don’t make my feelings of Anger go away and my best friend told I have to forgive I can’t and know where to start because if I seen him in trouble I would keep going. I’m so angry And no matter what he should have been there for me and my son please help me I’m so angry bitter mad 😡.