I’ve been wanting a positive so bad and I’m terrified it’s not correct. I found out a few years ago I have 2 of the MTHFR genetic defects and those can impact fertility. All of the women on my father’s side have had miscarriages and/or stillborns so I think that’s where it comes from. After receiving the diagnosis I take the activated B vitamins my body can’t process fast enough. I have also struggled with dysmenorrhea and some PMDD through my life.

We got married in October and in December stopped using condoms while we were not not trying. Lol. Once the new year hit it really sunk in that my husband will be 39 and I will be 33 and we have to get a move on. So I have been tracking stuff a bit. I had purchased ovulation test strips and started tracking basal temp.

Last week I was so tired. Like beyond exhausted regardless of how much caffeine I had. I also had some diarrhea, intense hunger, and sore breasts- but this is all normal PMS for me typically. I was supposed to get my period on Sunday so I took a test on a lark. Nothing showed up. I was disappointed. At Easter dinner that day my sister in law whose 1st is 6 months old literally announced she’s pregnant again. I felt like everyone could see my being upset and further worry that I cannot conceive or ctt.

Hours later I was moping and I saw my test in the trash and was like wtf because a positive line had appeared- hours outside of the test time. I immediately took another one and it was so faint I thought it was my imagination. I went online and see that blue dye tests can be heartbreakers with tricky evap lines so I went and got cheap pink tests. I still haven’t gotten my period but that could just be the fact I work in a psychiatric hospital which can be stressful and also Bc my body likes to just do whatever it wants. Any testing- I’ve had what looked like evap lines thus far I think.

Yesterday and today same stuff. Just so hungry, sore breasts, some diarrhea, and then incredible back pain. Lower back pain. I went home and laid on the heating pad, and I couldn’t get comfortable. It woke me up this morning at 5am. This would be my first pregnancy and I have never heard of some of these symptoms.

I tested this morning- part of me just kind of likes doing it because I love science and it’s like a little science experiment- and I need reassurance I’m not hallucinating it’s positive. It showed up within the appropriate time frame and not hours after. This is 18dpo I think. I’m terrified it’s not happening, it’s wishful thinking, or I did something wrong and got a false positive.