I’m seriously in an emotionally low place and struggling to get my shit together. I will. Just not today. Long story short- up and down relationship. Finally starting getting good in talks of wedding and babies. I was so happy. Had iud removed. 2/19. Last time we had sex was 2/17. 3/27 I find out he’s not only in a full fledged relationship for 5 months- but when it all came out he chose her over me. 3/30- i was still blubbering crying like a toddler etc- at about 5am there was a sudden Bloody tsunami preceded by crazy cramps. I’d been waiting for my period but being 6 weeks off mirena I just assumed I wasn’t back on schedule yet. But these cramps were different and the amount of blood wasn’t normal at all. I was miscarrying!!! Didn’t even know I was pregnant but after 6 tests I clearly was. A week has past and I’m still so heart broken on both accounts. I took another test today just to see - and it’s still positive - although faint. I never told him. No point really and the timing would have seemed like a strategy. I just feel alone and abandoned yet I’m not interested in reaching out to anyone either. I know that makes no sense but it’s how I feel.

I’m more than sad I’m just extinguished. Like all the light in me is gone. Haven’t even told my friends. I hope I can pull myself out of this soon.