I remember in 5th grade we had sex education. I remember in that classroom something clicked, like that’s what it’s called, but also like no they have it kinda wrong like you don’t just stick it in you move it in and out and sometimes it’s not always with your vagina it could be a hand or a mouth. Then I thought to my self wow that was weird how did I know that, like there was this nagging feeling.

When I was 16 I lost my virginity to my boyfriend, it was fully planned. I don’t remember it. I went full zombie the moment it started and didn’t snap out of it till a couple hours later when he drove me to a friends house. This happened the next 2 times as well.

I went to a church camp and the speaker spoke about many things but I heard was her story of her father sneaking into her room at night and abusing her. I “went to the bathroom” and ran into the woods and cried for two hours. When people found me I said it was cause my uncle had cancer.

I started getting strange visions of things like my dads beard in places it shouldn’t.

My father has provided for me and my family for years, I said I wanted to visit Peru once and a week later he booked us tickets, he sees me too stressed to eat and he goes out late a night and buys me tacos. I know he loves me and so I must be crazy. How can someone love you and hurt you like that. He donates 30% of the money he makes to charities and lets me pick them, child abusers go to jail, he doesn’t belong there. I’m just crazy I just want to ruin our beautiful family for no reason. No one would even believe me.

I got a call yesterday. My little sister found an entire iPad dedicated to child pornography...