I know a girl who got pregnant two months earlier than me. I see her quite often because we live very close to each other. She smokes 1 pack a day, drinks, eats unhealthy food. She told me she doesn’t care because her baby turned out just fine on every ultrasound. So i thought “too bad, that’s no way to care for an unborn baby”. Then i lost my son. Ever since i just hate her. Now she’s traveling with her husband, shows off her belly visits beautiful places while i’m sitting here resenting her. I even thought for a second, why is her baby alive and not mine. Now i feel guilty because her baby didn’t do anything wrong and she should be a very happy and healthy kid. But still i become so bitter every time i see her or her photos knowing that i did everything in my power for my baby and yet, she’s the one who gets to enjoy her pregnancy. I will never be able to relax and travel with my child in my belly, I’ll never be able to just enjoy my pregnancy without a worry while she’s out there doing everything that doctors told me is horrible and dangerous. Yer here we are. I know everyone has their own path but this kind of injustice makes me so hateful, desperate and sad. I just want to get over this stupid feeling already