I just need to get it all out. That’s the purpose of this post. So, here we go. Let me start out by saying I love my baby more than anything. During his “good” moments, he’s happy and smiley and sweet. But unfortunately those are far and few between.

In the beginning, he was super easy going. He slept in his bassinet for naps and at night. He was observant, quite, and, for lack of better words, just CHILL.

Now at 7 weeks old he hates EVERYTHING. And I mean everything. He doesn’t tolerate his swing or bouncer at all. He screams the second he gets put in his car seat or stroller and doesn’t settle until he gets picked up again. He hates all wraps and carriers, which I thought he might enjoy since he only wants to be held. NOPE. He refuses a pacifier, so he uses me as one when he needs comfort. Also won’t take a bottle, so I can’t even get a break for a night time feeding every once in a while. He won’t sleep unless he’s in my arms, and if I put him down he’s awake within seconds, screaming. My only options to even get sleep at night are either co sleeping with him next to me and touching me at all times, or me sleeping sitting up with him on my chest.

He’s literally miserable unless he’s being held, besides maybe for a magical 5-10 minutes a day where I can sit down with him next to me on the floor and play with him. Even when he’s being held it’s not a guarantee he’ll be happy. Half of the time I’m holding him he’s still crying unless he’s being held JUST RIGHT. I have to be standing (no sitting unless he’s sleeping and doesn’t notice) while simultaneously swaying, bouncing, and patting him.

We’ve tried gas drops, gripe water, colic tablets, prescription medication for acid reflux. Nothing helps. My boyfriend works 60 hours a week, and when he’s not home it’s impossible for me to shower, make myself food, anything at all. I finally got cleared to start working out again, but I can’t even do so much as take him for a walk because of how difficult he is. We live 7 hours away from our closest family so I really don’t even have anyone who can come help and give me a break. I just needed to vent to try and preserve the sanity I have left.

For anyone who made it to the end thank you for reading! And if anyone else out there is going through the same thing I feel for you! Here’s a bonus pic of my little guy during one of his rare happy times.