This will probably be a long story. I have posted at least once before telling some of it, but here goes.

My husband and I got married back in November. Prior to that we were together for a year and a half. We didn’t have a healthy relationship from the start. He is 21 he turned 19 like a couple weeks after we met. I will be 30 this year.

Anyhow, we had no business whatsoever getting married, but we did. And I’m not happy.

When we first met, he was basically homeless, staying at his cousins house. I am friends with his cousins girlfriend and that’s how we met. He wasn’t working. Wasn’t doing anything with his life except hanging out with friends and smoking weed.

Prior to meeting him I was in a relationship for 5 years. The guy was an alcoholic and could be abusive at times. He went to prison and stayed sober for a couple of years after bit a lot of things happened and he started to slip up and started drinking. I wasn’t happy so I broke it off. We were living together in my house. He eventually packed his stuff and moved out.

I was already seeing my now husband before my ex officially moved out. So the day my ex moved out, my now husband came to the night and he never left.

I worked and he didn’t. He had all his buddies and cousins and brothers over alllll the time hanging out, smoking and playing video games. I would get home from work at 10 or 11 at night to a house full of people

Eventually ended up with a couch, love seat and two twin mattresses in my living room just because of all of the people that would stay over.

Anyways, I ended up losing the house, we moved in to his dads, that was a nightmare, I couldn’t take it anymore so saved money and got us and my kids a different house.

He was working with his dad for his dads business while we were living there but when we moved out he quit and had every excuse and went right back to hanging out and playing games.

There are a lot of other things that happened, him talking to his exes, leaving me for a day or two at a time and completely blocking all contact then coming running back to me later and like an idiot I let him come back.

Well I ended up losing my job, we lost that house. We were staying at his brothers but we got in to a huge fight and he broke up with me so I said screw it and moved out of state a couple of hours away.

He ended up unblocking me and begging me to come back.

I told him I wasn’t coming back and was staying so he asked me to come get him. After some time I agreed but told him the conditions. He agreed to the conditions and I went and got him.

He did great for 3 months. Worked his butt off every day and was bringing in good money as well as me. Then we got married, he quit his job, got a game system. And it went right back to the same shit.

I feel so unloved. He would rather sneak around and watch porn than be with me. He is easily angered and has to stay high all the time. He has his medical marijuana card so can legally buy and smoke but I’m the only one working so I can’t always afford it, we’ll ever.

Now my cousin and her boyfriend are staying with us so now he spends less time and attention on me. He literally plays the game from the time he opens his eyes until the time he closes his eyes. And smokes.

I’m very unhappy. I feel very unwanted and unloved. Talking to him about things doesntwork. He either gets very angry and starts a fight or he says he wants to do better for me and will change and blah blah but never does.

So here’s what I am thinking about doing. The 40 day love dare. We got the books awhile back, but neither of us have used them. I have read through mine some but never followed through. Now I’m thinking it’s my last resort. 40 days, and if things don’t change and I’m still not happy, it will be time for a divorce. What do you all think?????