Does Anyone Else Feel Feel This Way? PS: Sent This To My SO...

“I’m scared that all the memories we made will be tainted with sadness. I’m scared that I didn’t love you the way you deserved. I’m scared I will hurt you. I’m scared I will gave up on us. I’m scared I will brake your heart. I’m scared. But if it does happen it will be the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. It will hurt me as much as it hurts you. I can hear someone in the audience of those who’ve had their hearts broken shout, “Bullshit!” I hear you but hear me, it’s never easy hurting someone you love and I do, I love you. You didn’t ask and I didn’t tell you but here’s the truth: I love you.

You are one of my closest friends, one of my best friends but I’m not in love with you. I know. Ouch. I don’t know when it will happened, I don’t know how and I don’t know why. It’s not your fault and it’s not my fault either. Im just scared the sand in our hour glass will just run out. At this point, I’m going to apologize again. I’m sorry. I’m scared that I can’t change for you even though I want to so badly. You didn’t ask me to but I fell like you didn’t need to. I want to be the kind of girl that I fell you deserved. Im scared that you and I just weren’t meant to be in the end and that makes me sad because I want us to work out more than I’ve ever wanted anything. You don’t see this now and you may not see it next week, or next month or next year but one day you’ll see that you deserve so much better than me and what I could give you. Someone who isn’t drowning in their own demons.

I’m so afraid to give my heart again. I’m afraid to fall in love again. I hope that you’ll forgive me instead of just telling me not to apologize. I’m just so scared and i don’t know how to handle my emotions right now.”