Please tell me what's normal. If you have seen this show you see a girl who's been under ground n doesn't know how things work. She kinda taken advantage of. She goes w the flow. But things work out for her..

so here's how I grew up. Shamed by my mother for my body that my step dad wld act weird about/around. She raised us in a holiness church (not knocking any religions here-not everyone goes there because they believe tho n abuse the system to control ppl) soon as I blossomed they fought non stop. I wore long skirts sometimes layered. Grumpy tops layered. So men can't make out my form cause that's my sin if they lust.. we didn't have tv. I wasn't allowed close friends.

then off to my dads (when he bothered to take his visits) who called me bitch n whore where most dads say princess. Who watched porn in front of me n my siblings. Acted more vulgar than any man iv yet to see ever since. He couldn't talk to me w out being nasty about other women. Acted raunchy towards me when I turned 16.

So now... I'm married. I get sick at my stomach when Victoria secret commercials come on. I feel like I'm not enuf unless I'm perfect. I can't handle hbo-at all. I am terribly insecure when other younger women r around. Partly because my guy is not the best. I cld b comforted if he didn't act like I'm not around when he stares women down.

**So here's my question. Why are they looking. Am I not Enuf? Why can't he catch himself n look away after he's "noticed" instead of staring. He says it's just normal to check them out. I think maybe some are eye catching but u don't have to entertain it. N he cld give me a squeeze or some kind of "your my baby" n a wink.. he says he enjoys looking. N he doesn't want to stop.

honestly. I don't think he should catch his eye on every chick. Iv seen guys I kno cheat be able to carry a convo w their wife no matter who walking by n not lose focus. I may have the misconception that men shld only have eyes for me once married. And partly believe that all I am worth is my ability to keep his attention. But-Seeing/noticing ppl is one thing. commenting or staring is another.

**Pls b kind. I hurt enough.

ps he says all men do this n that's just the way it is. That men can get old n they'll always want the younger perfect bodies.