I hate myself.

I’m married and I fucking cheated.

I’ve always been the one to say “if you’re not happy then leave, don’t cheat”.

Just because I’m in a manipulative, emotionally & verbally abusive marriage doesn’t give me the right to cheat.

My husband saved other girls nudes to his phone and tried to hide them in a photo vault right before I traveled back home for a week w/ our daughter. He has cheated on me multiple times in the past.

I think I was just looking for an easier way out of this shitty marriage I’m in.

I was hanging out with friends, drank too much, kissed & oral but no sex.

I can’t fucking believe I drank that much that just because I’m unhappy and wanting an out, I didn’t think twice about what I was doing.

I’m not looking for pity or comments on how I’m a piece of shit because I already fucking hate myself for doing that.

What now? 😔

I love my husband so much

* I leave to go back in 3 days. Do I text/call my husband to tell him or should I wait to do it in person?