When I got married I moved 3 hours away from all my friends and family to the small town where I met my husband. All of his family lives in the area and they’ve been a huge help with our baby, but none of them are close to my age. I’ve had a really hard time connecting with people I can relate to since moving here, and my husband kept pushing me to just reach out to people, so I did.

I started hanging out with another SAHM and it was really fun. She got me connected with her group of friends who are all really nice, but I can’t help but feel like the outsider. They all grew up together and many of them are related by marriage and they all have this long history and I’m just this random girl who moved here and has no one to hang out with. They all do nice things for each other (like buying each other gifts randomly and taking pictures together), one of them even bought the girl I first became friends with tickets to see Taylor Swift with her.

Then the yesterday a bunch of them left for this big weekend trip to Chicago and I keep seeing all their posts on social media and I know it shouldn’t bother me but it looks like they’re having so much fun and I have always wanted friends like that who would actually want to spend an entire weekend with me. I feel like I’ve always been that friend who people only enjoy being around for short periods of time. I feel like I’m boring and when I’m not boring I’m just annoying or come across as trying too hard. It’s soooo unreasonable for me to feel left out I know, but my heart hurts that I’ve never had a friendship like that. I’m never the first person someone thinks of when they want to do something big or exciting, I’m always the person that people hang out with for a few hours when they have nothing better to do. I know with time I might become more connected with them, but I can’t help but feel like there’s just no room for me in their group.

I tried confiding in my husband but he got kind of defensive and talked about how he had a good job and we couldn’t move. I never suggested moving, I just needed someone to talk to, but I think he feels guilty that I left everyone behind and moved here for us. I just hate how hard this is. So here I am, venting to strangers on the internet. Lol. I feel like all I do is sit around at home with my baby all day and as much as I love him and enjoy spending time with him, I want some good adult friends who make me feel genuinely wanted....