Tuesday I started light spotting nothing really to worry about so I went about the day normal. Wednesday I was still spotting and just thought it was odd I was 13 weeks and never in my earlier pregnancy did I spot. On Thursday I called my ob who scheduled a sonogram where everything looked perfect. My baby was moving around a lot and the sonograph tech told me I had a very active baby. I couldn’t wait to start feeling those movements soon! Then Friday morning my spotting went to bright red bleeding with a few small dark red clots. I even soaked a panty liner in an hour. My ob referred me to the er. The Er did a pelvic exam my cervix was closed and they diagnosed me with a UTI. My fiancé and I left to go pick up my medicine from the pharmacy and went I got home. I feel this uncontrollable watery substance rushing from my vagina down my legs and it just kept going. I called the on call nurse at my obs office who said I need to go back to the er. So I did a second time. They immediately did a sono. Which confirmed my water broke and the baby was no longer in amniotic fluid. It also showed he gestational sac collapsing and bleeding from within. My baby’s heart beat was at 175. The doctors told me that this pregnancy wasn’t going to work. Mine and my fiancé’s heart have never shattered worse than hearing those words that our baby was no doubt going to die. Then an ob completed a pelvic exam confirming again that it was amniotic fluid that poured out of me. She ordered another sono for that night which came back that my baby’s heart beat raised to 188. So she admitted me into the hospital where they would complete another sono in the morning then discuss my options. In the morning our baby no longer had a heart beat. My angel had passed officially. At noon I went under to complete the d and c surgery. At 3 I was awake and back in my room. I have never felt so empty, alone, lost and depressed in my life. I saw the pain in my fiancé’s face also throughout the whole hospital stay and knew he was the only one besides me to know exactly how it felt to lose OUR baby. The one we have wanted and wished and prayed for since we’ve been together. We had spent the pregnancy dreaming about what our baby would be, who it would look more like, what it’s like to hold our own in our arms. But we will never get the chance to experience life with our first child. Our baby passed 04/14/18. Exactly 6 months before we were supposed to welcome them into this world.

I hope all of you continue to have healthy pregnancies and give birth to beautiful healthy babies❤️ best of luck to all of you.