Okay so I’ve been big all of my life okay, and I don’t have any trouble with my body when it comes to just myself. I could care less if I don’t fit into the slip dress the way skinny girls do. But when I think about cuddling, or having somebody TOUCH what I thought I could hide from everybody but myself gives me this rush of anxiety. It’s like my body is being forced to come out as fat to whoever touches it. Its like if nobody comments on it or touches it I can pretend that it doesn’t exist you know? But the moment it is brought up I feel like my confidence would crumble and that my “secret” would be out. I don’t want to be thought of as chubby, why can’t I just be me? No strings attached?