Prayers for peace

I am 28 yo. I was diagnosed with PCOS in July of 2017. I have had a personal relationship with Christ since I was 15. My faith for the most part has always been strong. I have been TTC for almost 5 years. I never knew about my PCOS but I knew something was wrong for years. I would go SEVERAL months without my period and didn’t understand why. So being diagnosed has really been a blessing. God has confirmed and given me clarity on why I never had regular periods. After losing about 24 pounds since January this year. My periods have become regular. Praise God. I believe it was due to regular prayer of asking him to regulate me. I knew if I had a period regularly than I would have a good chance of ovulating. I took clomid in October of 2017 and obviously that round failed. It wasn’t my time. I understand and try to accept that. I know God sees my heart and the desire of becoming pregnant and being a first time mommy almost overwhelms me at times. I understand that God is strengthening and growing my faith it’s just really hard sometimes to say the least. As a woman of faith I understand the importance of getting married first. I have been with my SO for 6 years and the marriage talk never comes up. He’s never been around marriage. As his Dad or his grandparents have never been married. He was raised in church but as an adult refuses God due to some really hurtful things that happened last year. He was going to church with me a few years ago but since then has stopped. I really just need some advice and someone to relate to me. I feel alone a lot. God is always there it’s just nice to know some one in physical form understands.