HELP ME

Ok So backstory about me... I’m 14 and in 8th grade masturbate and I need help

Ok so I don’t know got to say this but here it goes I think of myself as ugly reserved girl and I want a boyfriend I know that sounds ridiculous and you’re probably thinking WTF she is so young well idk because I feel insecure my best friend says I need to put myself more out there but I’m tu shy in high honor shyest girl in class but when I feel like that I usually masturbate to feel safe again I’m posting this because I don’t have anyone else to go to

I’m posting this anonymously bc of self shame

Helm me please