Hi,

Sorry, I've never posted anything before but I really need some advice right now. It's a long post.

Me and my husband are having issues with our sex life and I just don't know what to do.

Since we met, I got on pill birth control not only to prevent pregnancy but to help me get more regular periods and the pill is working great but I've noticed that since that my sex drive has been dying so we don't have sex that often and it's even hard for me to get horny but after my husband initiates sex, I'm getting into it and enjoy it a lot.

My husband thinks that I'm not really attracted to him and that he doesn't turn me on. I know that's not true because he's a very handsome man and looks like the man I pictured in my dreams. Also after I met him but before I got on birth control, I was very horny for him. I compliment him, kiss and hug him and try to be affectionate as much as I can. Of course sometimes I'm in a bad mood so I might be not that affectionate.

Also he thinks that he's too small for me and doesn't "fill me up" but the truth is he does. I can get sore or it even hurts if he goes too rough or too deep. He's more than average and is honestly the best I've ever had and I'm totally happy about it. He said that I'm not tight enough down there and it made me feel so low and insecure about myself and he keeps saying that whoever was before him might be huge etc but does it matter with whom I was before? I'm absolutelyhappy with his size and don't want any other. But he doesn't believe me when I say that.

It took me a while to figure out why my sex drive became so low. What I think it is, is birth control, stress and lack of work out because it was easier for me to get all sexy when I was working out and wasn't taking pills. I told him about it and he got mad because I was more sexually active before I met him but now he feels like he has to fight for it but all his previous girls were ready to tear his cloth off. Also, I stress a lot as well and I think that's what partly takes my sex drive because it's hard for me to relax.

We tried to talk about how he feels and in general his point is that he doesn't feel that he's big enough for me, that he doesn't feel me being involved into sex, that I'm not getting "cock drunk" as all his ex girlfriends did (actually I got to this point a couple times and it was only him who made me feel so intense that I was shaking and felt so good but it doesn't happen every time and it upsets him), it doesn't feel tight enough for him down there. He doesn't feel like I want him and it breaks my heart when we finally get intimate and I get to feel all sexy, he looks so disappointed in it afterwards. I told him what I think about his size and how much I enjoy sex with him but he straight told me that he doesn't believe me.

He's complaining that all I want is fast sex and he doesn't like it, he prefers going slow and we tried it for like 40 minutes but after 15-20 minutes I was ready to move on to something more intense. I tried to compromise and start with a slow intercourse and then go faster and I honestly loved it but he didn't seem to be satisfied. At the same time he says that if we have a 10-15 minutes foreplay he's already ready to cum because we don't do it often enough. He gets irritated when we don't have much of a foreplay and I use lube to smooth things up because I don't get very wet so fast.

I really want to get better with my sex drive and try to find time for work out so I told him about it multiple times but he still seems very upset and mad about our sex life. I want to get off the pills but at the same time due to high stress my hormones will get messed up again and I'll be having troubles with my periods.

I'm devastated and don't know what else to do besides finding time to work out and trying to relax. I feel that it's all my fault and it shouldn't be that hard for me to get turned on.

I'm sorry if my post has any grammar or spelling mistakes, English isn't my native language and that's another reason I never posted anything.

Thank you!