How would u feel ladies

I have two kids ones 4 other is 8 soon I re married he’s has no kids... been with him 2 years and just married him on Xmas eve... well I feel hurt I want a baby with him.. I had one early miscarriage at 4 weeks this happened in feb... wen I told him he just was like making excuses kids r young or he’s young he’s 29.. or he was saying he’s not ready whatever he booked abortion with me.... anyway this month and last he don’t wear condoms but when he cums he pulls out and I feel so broke. Am not talking to him now.. just hate him... like am a stranger wen he uses condoms mostly pills out I’m feeling numb before marriage he didn’t say he didn’t want kids.. feel like he wana leave that’s why he don’t kids or use me and go 💔💔💔💔💔