Just need some other women to talk to who have also been through what I’m going through Bc I feel like I’m going into a depression.

I’m almost 39 and we had a miscarriage in dec when the baby measured just over 8 w at our 9 week ultrasound ... got preg quickly and lost the second one after seeing the heartbeat at 6 w 4 days (also at 9 week ultrasound)

I know there are many many many women who have gone through the same and even worse and come out the other side. .... just need the encouragement right now. I got married late and now I’m paying the price I guess although I married an amazing man. I thought I would have a baby by 38 and it would have happened for me but already I’ve lost two. Pregnancy feels like such a science. Seeing a fertility specialist now we had our first consultation yesterday. We are doing testing and he said to have an HsG after my first cycle returns. I hate how I got pregnant so fast and it was taken away from me so fast. I’m such a great woman and would be an amazing mom and my hubby would be a great dad. Then there r so many bad moms out there with no problems. How do I grieve?? I want to try again but with all this testing seems like we are going to have to wait at least 3-4 mos anyway so at this rate who knows when. I’ll get pregnant. My goal is a healthy baby not just to get pregnant. Trying to hold my head up but it’s so hard to pretend to the outside world that everything is fine inside when it’s not . Doing highlights. Drinking again, being able to eat tuna fish again... I don’t want to even do these things again bc it just reminds me I’m no longer a mom. Feel free to send me a private message too if you want. Thanks ladies. This forum really has helped me see the light when I hear from those women who have come out the other side.