Long-Distant Boyfriend Problems

Okay ladies let me start off by saying this is gonna be LOOONG post, so grab your reading glasses LOL.

Also, this is mostly a rant, but I’m genuinely interested in hearing what you guys think. I’m here questioning my relationship and where we stand.

To cut the story a little shorter, I met this guy back in January of 2017, and I immediately fell for him, and he ended up with the same feelings. For the first 7 months it was great. Then it wasn’t so great. And in September of 2017 we broke up. We got back together in December but I’ve seen a total change in him.

I’m gonna start off by saying this, I met him when I was this impressionable, lonely, single 17 year old girl. (I’m a 19 year old woman now for the record) and I ended up listening and doing whatever he asked back then because I felt lucky. This guy was handsome, intelligent, friendly, caring. I’m going to be honest, based on his looks alone I’m certain he can get a date with about any woman out there. I was VERY self conscious then so I felt I had to do whatever so he’s stay with me.

So, I’ll expose myself a little here and say I’ve sent him a lot of photos/videos of myself.

Anyways, after we got back together from our breakup I’ve noticed a big change.

For me, the biggest is the fact that he doesn’t acknowledge our relationship. He basically refuses to call a couple and says it isn’t “real.” I’ll say this, to me it IS real. Since we’ve been together I haven’t gone out on any dates with guys or even really talk to guys. I consider him my boyfriend and do love him.

He won’t call me his girlfriend and flat out told me he doesn’t love me. Now, prior, before we broke up he’s call us a couple and express his feelings for me. It’s the total opposite today. That honestly bugs me endlessly as I feel I’m putting my all into something he doesn’t really care about.

On Valentine’s Day this year, my first time celebrating it, I wanted to hang out. Obviously I wasn’t expecting him to ship out flowers or a gift to me, but I expected us to hang out. It didn’t even have to be anything big, even just a short phone call. Instead, he proceeded to fight with me after I expressed that I was upset he didn’t even try to hang out with me. He basically ended that fight by saying he’s getting tired of me, he’s about to end this, and that I should know my place (being his bitxh LOL)

Fast forward to the next month, it’s my birthday. Again, all I wanted was to hang out. Again, it ends in an argument. He ends up saying he’s tired and bored of me and he isn’t attracted to me. Then proceeds to ignore more for the next week.

To me this SCREAMS he doesn’t care. However, he always turns it around. He says I expect too much from him and I’m “greedy” in this relationship.

Okay, tbh I’m gonna expose him (and myself a little lol) to further explain how awful he is LOL. Back in June he was friends with my sister. The two used to talk for hours and play video games with each other. All while ignoring me. I’ll be honest I was weary of it. My sister didn’t know that we were an item and I was suspicious of how he acted towards her. I end up learning, months after it happened, that these two had a drinking game and it resulted in him receiving a sensual photo from my sister. After I confronted him about it, he didn’t apologize. He said he was drunk, she was drunk, that we weren’t in a good place, and that it was a picture no big deal. The idiot I am ended up forgiving him.

I also learned how he’s sent his friends, posted on his discord (and possibly other places), and sent MY friends sexual pictures/videos of me. He always claims that it’s just pictures and it’s no big deal. And that if I’m his girl, I should be okay with it. He’s even gone far enough to say he owns me so he’ll do what he likes. NOW I know y’all are shaking your head wondering why I’d still forgive him.

The other big thing he did was create a tinder and go out on dates. Admittedly we were not good at this time and broke up soon after. But he didn’t tell me about this at all (I learned from my sister) and he told me it wasn’t a big deal because he didn’t hook up with him, just dates.

FYI, he did hookup with people immediately after we broke up. We weren’t together so I don’t care, but he shamed me after I went out on dates with guys when we were broken up. He’d ask me for exact details of what when down, and even go as far as finding the guys online and messaging them asking what we did. But he never owned up to anything he did.

He’s said some pretty crazy things while angry as well. He admittedly has anger issues and when mad at me has said stuff. I don’t think I should say what he said, because it was bad. He always says he was just in the moment and wouldn’t actually do the things he says, but still even saying it is wrong.

Now I know I’m looking DUMB for still being with him. But I fell in love. And I still see all the good traits about him. And, honestly, he’s persuaded me SO much into seeing his view that sometime I feel I’m in the wrong.

Here’s the dilemma. He’s moving here. No exact date, but within the next two months or so. He moving to Chicago, 4000 miles away from where he lives now. Leaving behind his family, and friends. Also, he’s forgiven m3 for things in the past. When we first met I had gone out with another guy, and kissed him, and didn’t tell him about this until later on. Also, when we were broken up I did date, and hook up with someone which he forgave me for. And honestly, I don’t think I can find someone better. He’s handsome, intelligent, funny, interesting, adventurous. He does have good traits and he’s honestly out of my league. I don’t think I can find someone else.

I don’t know. Feel free to roast me lol. Give me advice. Tell me what I should do. I really do love him and care about him, but some of the stuff he’s done is just kind of hard to forget.