My name is Meagan Gauthier. I am 22 years old, I live in Oklahoma, I am engaged to my amazing fiancé John, and raising my soon to be 6 year old step son. We found out I was pregnant September 12, 2017, just five short months after John proposed to me.

I was on birth control and planning a wedding so it was definitely a shock to the both of us but john was overjoyed. By our first ultrasound I was completely head over heels about our sweet baby. In November we found out we were expecting a little girl!

We were so unbelievably excited. We had already started buying diapers and wipes and some of the bigger essentials and planning what we were going to do for her room. Our 20 week mark came and went and at that point I could see her whole life planned out in my mind. In January 2018 I started getting these excruciating pains in my ribs right below my breasts. Sometimes it was in my back also. I called my OB who’s nurse told me I “probably strained a muscle” so I blew it off for the first couple of days. The other women in my life who had all had kids said things like “you’re just so short she has no where else to go” or “your body is changing drastically, there’s going to be some pain.” I knew something was wrong but everyone around me, including my doctors office said I was fine. January 31 I checked my BP and it was 143/92. I called my OB who told me to go to the nearest ER to get looked at(my OB was 30 minutes away from me.) I got checked in a sent up to labor and delivery where I was hooked up to a BP cuff and monitors for the baby. I sat for three hours before I was sent home with nothing. No answers as to why my BP was so high, no recommendation, nothing. I had an appointment with my OB the following week so they told me they’d look at me when I came for that. Unfortunately, I never made it to that appointment. The morning of February 6 I called my OB’s office and told them I had been up for two nights in a row with no sleep because the pain was unbearable. They told me to come to their ER so I called a friend to drive me and drop me off. I got checked in and sent to Labor and Delivery where my OB happened to be that day instead of his office. I was hooked up once again to monitors and had to pee in a cup. I called my best friend of years and years, Amber, to come sit with me because John was at work(he works oilfield. Out of town for 2 weeks, home for 1 week.) My BP never went down it just kept getting higher and higher so finally, my doctor asked for blood work to be done. When he came in with the results, my world forever changed. He told me that I had a severe and odd presentation of preeclampsia and HELLP syndrome. There was no protein in my urine so they didn’t suspect it at first. They told me they were putting me on “mag” which is a medication to help keep me from seizing and that they were going to put me on an ambulance and send me two hours away to OU children’s hospital where I would most likely have to deliver my baby, I was 25 weeks 3 days. Amber immediately called John and my parents to give them the news. Hours later we got to OU where an entire team of doctors ran tests, did imaging on the baby, and discussed my options. I had to deliver that night and I had to chose between a vaginal delivery or cesarean. They told me i wasn’t dilated at all so vaginal may take days and she may not be able to survive the contractions so we decided on c-section under general anesthesia. February 6, 2018 at 8:03 pm our beautiful daughter entered this world at 1 lb 3 oz 11 inches long.

I was able to go visit her in the NICU the next day. She was beautiful and perfect in every way. She had my nose, her brothers lips, and as her daddy’s ears. I have never loved anyone or anything like I loved her. They told us she had a long road ahead of her but that she was a spitfire.

She was hooked up to so many tubes and wires and machines but I knew she would be okay. She was my baby, she had to be! Two and a half days later my beautiful daughter was gone. She passed away February 9, 2018 sometime around 2 am. She passed away in me and Johns arms. Her name was Ryan Elizabeth Eckhart and she was the best thing that has ever happened to me. That is my story, that is my daughters story. Thank you for reading it💕