Let me take you back to about two years ago

It’s about 2am, I happen to wake up because i had to pee. I notice my husband isn’t in bed next to me. But then i hear that the shower is running... i didn’t think anything of it because when he can’t sleep, showers help him fall asleep. So since i have to pee i get up and walk to the bathroom and when i try to open the door it slams immediately so I’m like

And then i hear “I’m pooping, I’m almost done” so I’m waiting by the door half asleep like:

Then i hear the magical word, “okay” so as I’m walking in i happen to glance at my husbands penis as he is stepping in the shower and I’m like:

ITS HARD. And it has white stuff on it! (Lotion) and when i realized what i walked in on i was sitting on the toilet silently ike:

Then there was a moment where it was silent. I can only imagine him in the shower all embarrassed like:

And then i said “so what’s all over your penis” and he said “.......love” and I’m like

Later on after he showers off we are laying in bed and he says I’m never going to live this down am i?

Nope 😂

Moral of the story, don’t masturbate in the bathroom when there’s only one bathroom in the apartment and your wife is home.