Is he unnecessarily mean when angry with you?

Question

When the argument gets heated and he’s frustrated with me (and I’m being stubborn) he resorts to calling me names, like bitch, idiot and (my “favourite”) princess 🙅🏻‍♀️ He does it to belittle me because he’s angry with me. Is this okay? I never go below the belt when angry with him, or at least call him things I know will hurt. I don’t know how much I should bring it up. I want him to be more respectful of me even when angry, but I don’t know how receptive he’ll be to that. How do your SOs treat you when angry?

Answer

So let me start off with, no, name calling is absolutely not okay, especially when it’s something that he knows will hurt you. 
That being said, and I know this might not be a popular opinion, but poor communication can manifest itself in many different ways. For my husband and I, he called names and said purposely hurtful things, but I would completely discount his opinion and invalidate him because I was hurt. From my perspective, name calling is still meaner, but I had to really take a huge step back and try to actually understand WHY my husband felt disrespected to the point that he resorted to name calling. 
Of course some people are just mean and hurtful and not worth your time, but if he is overall a good guy and you both just fight poorly, try talking to him when you’re both in a good mood and approach it from a different angle- not blaming, but really trying to understand what his triggers are. 
Good luck- communication is the hardest thing to master and it’s a lifelong process but it’s so worth it!

Answer

Um there’s no way I’d ever let anyone speak to me like that, especially someone who is supposed to love and respect me.  My husband and I have been together 7.5 years married for 5, we never name call or even yell at each other.  He sounds immature and needs to learn to respect you. If he can’t refrain from calling you names then he needs to learn to walk a way and take a minute or maybe he should get anger management.

Answer

Do YOU feel it’s okay? If your answer is no, then it’s not okay and you should definitely discuss it with him as a hard limit for you.

Answer

That’s verbally abusive and it is not okay for him to be doing that to you.

Answer

My husband has a temper with many things, yet has never once called me out of face or belittled me for any reason in 8 years. This is not something that is acceotble, is very toxic and you should really take a step back to analyze this relationship.
Abuse has many forms. Many of which start small and build to explosive levels, keep that in mind.

Answer

It’s not ok but it’s really common. He needs to control his anger though and most importantly you should never be afraid to confront your partner about their poor behaviour.

Answer

this is not okay. tell him how you feel. if he knows its hurting you, it will make him want to change. my boyfriend and i call each other princess too, but it's always in a joking sarcastic matter. never when we are arguing. my boyfriend told me to shut up once and I shut that down reaaaal quick. just let him know how you feel. he should be willing to change that.

Answer

That’s completely not ok, and I hope that you guys can talk about it and find a solution.

Answer

Absolutely not

Is he unnecessarily mean when angry with you?

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