Scared to test..

I’ve been trying for the past year for baby #2 and my ovulation and periods have been hard to track. I’ve been having different period symptoms than I normally do for the past few months, then I don’t have my period, and every time I check my pregnancy tests are always negative. Then I get my period like the next day. All these negative tests month after month are making me so depressed. It’s a new month, my boobs hurt like crazy, and no period again but I’m so hesitant to even check. Part of me wants to wait and see if it will pass for another month before I even check.