My Boyfriend and I Had Sex (Please don't hate on me)

( I just need someone to hear me out, I need to tell someone, it's been kinda sitting on my chest, you know?)

This past Saturday, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I am 16 (17 in 2 weeks) and he is 17 (18 in a couple months). We have been together for a year and 9 months. We were both virgins. It was weird tbh, I was very nervous, physically, I feel like I had been ready for a while, emotionally, I was everywhere. I felt scared, I wanted to cause I love him, but I was scared. He's going to college in a couple months, it's only 2 1/2 hours away but I know it's gonna be hard to spend time together with his college classes and the way my schedule is looking for next year (I made a poor decisions for my senior year by putting a lot of AP courses, which I can handle, but I should have relaxed lmao). I worry sometimes since I am his first girlfriend that he will find someone he likes better, I try to trust him, but it's hard because we don't get to spend a lot of time together, and even when we do find time, I don't feel like he's as happy about it as I am. And I have discussed it with him before, just like I've attempted to talk about our future together, and usually it ends with him shutting down. I also felt happy? I mean I had wanted to be that close physically since like 9 months into the relationship, and to finally do it was... exhilarating. It hurt, I mean, I was wet, we used lube and a condom, I'm on the pill for acne anyway, but it still hurt. He was so big and I near about cried. But then, when we started moving, it didn't hurt anymore after a few seconds. But I mean, while I was expecting like OMG WOW AMAZING it was more like eh, like it kinda felt good at first, but like, it felt like I almost couldn't feel it, I mean I could, cause he's huge, and he stretched me a lot, but like, I wasn't as turned on by the actual act as I had imagined. I mean, it kinda felt like a dream though, I had wanted to do it that day, I had shaved, put on matching underwear, I was ready. I kinda feel like he wasn't though. I mean he was iffy and I was like I'm good with whatever you choose, and then he chose and he seemed nervous. Emotionally I'm a wreck rn with all the work from my classes, I just needed to tell someone cause a lot of my friends are Christian and I don't think they would quite see it the way I do. Im kind of worried I'm pregnant, I mean I'm on birth control, he wore a condom, but the condom was kind of loose after he came, and the weekend before I had been slightly late on my pill. I'm hoping to start my period tomorrow. I think I'm just tired and need to tell someone to get it off my chest, ya know?

please please please don't hate on me. I know I'm young but I thought it through, it wasn't rape, I checked the laws, only thing I'm struggling with now it the emotional stability and worrying about being pregos when it's like a 1/500 chance and it's most likely that I have PCOS like my mom, so yeah.