the life of someone who is scared. .

I’m pregnant. I am 5 weeks and 4 days pregnant. Two months ago I was also 5 weeks and 4 days pregnant and then I went to the bathroom and saw blood and just like that my baby bled out of me and there was nothing I could do to save it. There was nothing I could to do reverse it. So when I found out I was pregnant again with my beautiful rainbow I was in shock, but what society doesn’t prepare you for is, the anxiety, the counting of seconds to your next ultrasound, the sleepless nights of waiting to hear that first heartbeat, the pregnancy tests you take over and over and over.. just to make sure those lines stay as dark as the day before, the being afraid to tell anyone because you could lose this baby, the praying so hard your head could explode because you’re begging God to keep this baby safe inside of you. I love this baby, I’m holding onto hope for this baby but for every mother who has suffered or everyone who has lost and is beginning again I am scared with you, I am anxious with you but I am happy for you. We will get to that 40 week mark, we will feel those kicks, we will find out if it’s a boy or if it’s a girl this time. I can’t wait to meet you little one. ❤️ 🌈