This is going to end us...

Ugh. I need advice / to vent / opinions / camaraderie.

We had it out today, guys. The kind of argument that has you thinking ‘is it even worth it?’

The argument probably wouldn’t end us, but it brought up some deeper issues that I’m not sure we can get over. He told me that I make him feel like a lesser person. Like he’s only valued as an errand boy. :/ And that he can’t handle the chaos of our household (we have a 5 week old) Please don’t tell me ‘he made the baby, he has to help with the chaos’ that shit ain’t helpful. Obviously he can’t help.

I honestly don’t know what to do about this. I have 3 kids from an earlier marriage, and he went back to work so I’ve been taking over the daily care of our infant. He stated today that he has anxiety about watching him, because he’s a ticking time-bomb. (Argument was about me needing a break) Which he is, he’s Extremely fussy. I can’t say I blame him, I have anxiety too. This kid has been a nightmare the past week.

So that. He can’t handle our new normal. :/

The other thing he mentioned, being an errand boy, I get that too. I DO ask him to do things for me. Get groceries. Get dinner. Take the older kids to their friends’, the mall, the park. He says with one breath he enjoys doing those things because he feels like he’s helping. With the next, he’s saying I treat him like an errand boy. Seriously. Both comments came out during the argument.

Apparently he wants to be super dad, but only if the baby is well-behaved? I don’t know.

And he brought up the fact I won’t be affectionate with him, which is a whole other post...

I just don’t know what to do. He seems ready to walk from the stress, despite his assurances he would never do that. The words that he says sound good, but the thoughts behind them don’t make sense.

Forgot to add: he said I make him feel lesser because I take the baby away from him and do things, instead of showing him what to do. And I make more money. Apparently I throw that in his face. We’re buying a new car, and I’m putting in 70%. I don’t know....