What should I do?

Question

So let’s start off by saying I’ve always wanted to be a mommy. It’s the one thing in life I knew I always wanted. Currently I’m 10 weeks 4 days with my first! Exciting right?! 
No. Me and my S/O we’re happy and our relationship was fine. I told him I was pregnant and everything went down hill. It first started at my first doctors appt when they told me I had an std, and I KNOW it didn’t come from me. He says it was all me, I cheated and he’s the one who’s been loyal. He became a raging alcoholic and would scream in my face. Telling me I’m worthless and I’m a whore. Would purposely make sure I felt bad about anything he could throw at me. So I ended things. It has been such havoc, he makes me feel like I don’t even want this baby. And close friends all know how I feel and all they say is it’ll get better. I cannot be happy anymore. I feel no attachment to the baby. No care for it. Nothing. He has made me hate the human being growing inside of me and i have absolutely no one to talk to. Am I being irrational? I know I’ve wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember but now it just seems more of a burden than happiness. I’ve tried expressing myself to my S/O but all he had to say was if I didn’t want the baby he’s taking me to court so he can have full custody. 😢

Answer

There was a woman who posted awhile back about finding out she had an STD and was convinced her husband had cheated but it turned out it had been dormant for years and finally caused issues and been diagnosed, no one was at fault it had happened well before they had gotten together.
However, this man sounds extremely irrational and horrific so even if this was the case I can’t say you should go back.
That being said, I had my first child 21 months ago and my husband and I had no issues. Even with a wonderful relationship I did not feel connected to my daughter until I was much farther along in my pregnancy. It’s perfectly understandable the way you feel but realize you just started your journey.
The first time you feel a kick? It’s pure magic. My daughter would get hiccups every night from 6 months till I delivered. I loved it. The connection takes time. I’m 10 weeks now and still don’t really feel a connection and that’s OK. Hell it may not happen till you deliver and again, that’s OK.
You’ve always wanted to be a mom, if you still do...don’t let him take that from you as well.
But if you can’t stand the idea of being a mom or having this man in your life (maybe) for the next 18 years that’s understandable it’s your body and your choice.

Answer

Fuck that dude. He’s so dense he can’t look passed a stupid STD and see that there is a beautiful child waiting to meet him. Did either of you get tested BEFORE y’all got together? Probably not so it literally could have come from either of y’all. It’s so immature to play the blame game, especially in this situation. I hope he grows up for his child’s sake.

Answer

If you have always wanted to be a mom, be a mom!! 
Don’t worry if you have to do it alone. So many do and get help from family and friends.  
If he is abusive to you, take action to document it so that if there ever is a custody battle, you have proof to show what kind of person he really is. 
Best of luck to you - tons of people online in this network to talk to if you need 💜

What should I do?

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