Ashamed & In love

So my boyfriend of almost a year dumped me almost 2 months ago now. And I've never said this about anyone that I've dated ever, but I actually felt like I was gonna marry that guy. Then he breaks up with me out of nowhere for a reason that isn't even good enough to end a relationship over. He cut off all communication with me and said I put a "bad taste" in his mouth for relationships and he doesn't even wanna think about anyone else for a long time. And he's just gonna focus on himself.

So now I'm trying to make myself feel better by putting myself back out there. I downloaded that dating app, Plenty of fish. Been on some good dates and some shitty dates. One of the guys looks exactly like my ex and another looks like my OTHER ex and one I just kept looking at him, hoping the next look would be my ex instead of him.

Now I'm talking to a guy and he sent me a dick pic, so I asked him if he wanted to be an FWB. And he was completely down. Now I'm waking up and wondering if I'm just acting out sexually to avoid the fact that the only person I want doesn't want me.