Sex struggles and fears

I want to start this post off by saying I am a virgin. My concerns come from personal experience and self exploration. I understand that yes, a penis is different than a toy so sex will be different and there will be the connection there between me and him. However, I don’t get turned on when I get fingered or my breasts get nibbled on and not even when I get eaten out. I’m terrified of penetration and I worry that it won’t even feel like anything other than pain. Help?