we started with a misscarrage and have been trying for 11 months with nothing

I was always really irregular with my periods and was horomonially wacked out for the greater part of my teens and early 20s. I'm now 26 and got married last June. We both knew we wanted to stop preventing pregnancy after we got married and just let it happen. well when we got back from our honeymoon I missed my period and was pregnant. we lost the pregnancy at 5 weeks. Its been 11 months of trying unsuccessfully since the miscarrage. Honestly I'm still not over it and I still cry over the loss frequently. I just feel so sad that we lost the baby we conceived on our honeymoon. My husband and I really did not process the loss at first we were sad but didn't really talk about it. well we were at church and our preacher starts talking about loss and how its ok to cry and morn. Then he goes on to talk about him amd his wife and how they had gone through a misscarrage many years ago. of course I start crying and getting emotional. my husband and I both broke down and cried when we got home like I mean the heavy snot coming out of your nose, hiccuping sobs. we got through it and decided we were going to get past this and we were going to keep trying. It has been 11 months and we have had 0 luck. I have done all of the tracking your supposed to do and got blood work dont to make sure I'm horomonally sound( which I got a clean bill of health) everything is seemingly ok but not at the same time. honestly my husband and I want to go to a fertility specialist to try and get more pieces to the puzzle but I'm scared. I'm scared for the tests to show the one or maybe both of us have challenges. I don't want it to make me feel any worse than I do or make him feel inadequate in any way. hopefully I'm just crazy but I have always had this strange feeling that for some reason I wouldn't be able to have kids, like its always been in the back of my mind. my grandma tells me it is just not happening because I want it so bad. I sometimes feel like staying in and not talking to any of my friends because I feel like I cant handel anyone else telling me they are pregnant again. I feel like that makes me seem hateful but its really more so coming from a sad longing depressed place. I don't though, I get up and carry on my day acting like everything is ok. I smile and act happy for my friends while they are telling me there happy news. all while inside I'm dying of envy and sadness. I don't feel like I truly have anyone I can talk about this with because for the most part people don't really seem to know how to react and end up not really talking me much after I've told them we are having a hard time conceiving. I am not swelling on it every day but sometimes it spills over and I need to get it out so i can carry on another day.