sexually frustrated

my so and i have been together 5 years this August. started off as a long-distance relationship for 3 years but have been living together for the past 2 yrs. our sex life is great when we have sex. first 4 years it was multiple times a day every day. now i have to wait for him to make the moves because I've gotten tired of being turned down so much so it hurts my feelings. im 36 and he is 9 years older then me and i have noticed that he cant get all the way hard any more but we make it work when we do have sex. i think he has ed but he wont go to the dr. i dont know what else to do any more. anyone have any suggestions? anything at all i/we can do or try. we can be pretty kinky so any suggestions will do