38, overweight, and confused

I am 38 years old and currently 220 lbs. never thought I’d be this fat!

I also never thought I’d want another baby... I have a 6 year old and an 8 year old and currently have the strongest baby fever.

Just not sure if I’m totally nuts or what. I wasn’t this heavy with my other pregnancies, not sure I can even handle it physically?!??

I just feel such sadness thinking it’s over... I have this deep urge for #3. My husband is content but I think he’d go along with it.

I am sooooo torn!!! I think I’m having a mid life crisis!!!!

During the day, the baby fever is raging, but at night I’m so tired I think no way... I’m too old and worn out for this...... it’s maddening!!!!