Divorce? Separation!? I’m unhappy

Question

I have had 2 emotional affairs with 2 different men. And my husband hasn’t noticed. He hasn’t noticed that at 3am I sneak into our guest bedroom to text this guy or to call him. He doesn’t notice that I now lock my phone so that he doesn’t have the privilege of going thru it “just to see what I been doing” 
I have been married for almost 10 years and I am dying for his attention. A text. A phone call. An email. A surprise hello when he isn’t supposed to be home for a few hours. A nice lunch. A night out. Something!! 
We have 4 kids and he wants another one. But we have sex maybe twice a month. It’s almost like work is his priority and I come second. I just can’t take it anymore. 
Here’s how you know you’re tired of the bullshit; when you can no longer cry. 
Please don’t come on my post and tell me the obvious “talk to him” because I have. And here we are. Same shit. Different day.

Accepted Answer

I'm not condoning cheating, but if you're so unhappy why haven't you left?

Answer

I’m confused why you put a question mark after “divorce” I mean I feel it’s pretty obvious at this point. You’re cheating on him. So clearly a divorce would be a good idea.

Answer

If you’re unhappy I wouldn’t be TTC, even if its only 2 times a month, it only takes 1 time. 
& it’s hard not to say “don’t talk to him” cause if you don’t, things won’t get better. Communication is key. Voice your feelings. Tell him you’re not comfortable with having another child because you’re unhappy. But at the end of the day, you’re going to have to talk to him to get him to change, because you’re unhappy with his decisions and choices.. if you’re not willing to sit and talk and try to come to a decision, then leave. But if you think there’s still hope he will change then stay, talk to him and work on things. How can he know you’re unhappy if you won’t talk to him? A lot of married people fall apart because of lack of communication and understanding.

Answer

Why don’t you literally tell him verbally face to face........

Answer

If you are unhappy in a relationship you need to be an adult and be real with him, tell him your leaving. Cheating is never the answer.

Answer

It's not that he doesn't notice. He's doing the same thing you're doing and doesn't care. Trust me, I've been there. And he had been doing it for our entire relationship.

Answer

I mean.... are you referring to your affairs and lack of common sense to leave the "bullshit" you're referring too? you're damn right you can't cry about it because you're keeping yourself in this position, and you can only fault yourself for that 🤷🏾‍♀️ anyone who's so unhappy, so miserable, would get the sense to leave.... and here you are, two emotional affairs later and still miserable and throwing yourself a pity psrty lmao.

Answer

Are you just bored because he’s working too hard or is he working to avoid the problems in your marriage? Working hard is not in itself a bad trait. Sometimes you sacrifice time with your SO, or family, to provide for them. If he’s doing that, he deserves your sacrifice and loyalty. If he’s avoiding you than you both have already ‘left’ the marriage.

Answer

Would he consider going to a marital counselor with you? This is not okay. You say he doesn't notice that you have locked your phone or that you leave the room at 3 am to talk to a other man. Do you want him to notice? Do you want him to catch you? You want him to do all of these things for you, but do you do the things you want for him? I understand he should be putting in more effort, but it's a two way street.

Answer

If you’ve told him how you feel and he hasn’t validated or acknowledged what you’ve said, it’s time to say boy-bye. And move on and invest your time into something more worthwhile.

Divorce? Separation!? I’m unhappy

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey