Is this a red flag? 🚩

Question

I’m 41. Bf is 40. So we’re not kids here. We are together for 14 months. 
I have never. Ever. Met any of his friends. 
He has met most of mine, and we even travelled abroad to meet my childhood friends who live in Switzerland. 
I know his family and his brothers. But that’s about it. 
Never a dinner together, a double date, a night out. Nada. 
When he turned 40 in January I helped him clean and fix his apt for all his friends to come over and celebrate his birthday. 
Yet he refuses to introduce me to any of his so called good friends. 
Is this a red flag?
Is he serious about this relationship or am I just fooling myself?
***edit*** to clarify: none of his friends are douchebags. They are friends who meet even his family. They have jobs, kids, wives. 
I knew the party was for the boys only, but he was bragging to them how I helped fix everything. 
He has met most of my friends, yes. Of course, since I live abroad, I have family and friends everywhere. So he hasn’t met all of them.

Answer

I’d be concerned if I hadn’t met any friends after more than a year together. I’d talk to him about it.
Even though you helped set up for the party you weren’t invited? That is pretty rude to be honest.

Answer

This would be a huge concern for me too. I would pretty much insist on it at this stage. But there could be a couple of legit reasons he doesn’t want you to meet his friends... 
• His friends are arseholes and he is worried you’ll think differently of him if you meet them. 
• He is ashamed of his friends because he doesn’t think they’re cool enough maybe (lane reason but still a possibility). 
• He doesn’t think you and his friends will have anything to talk about. 
• He doesn’t actually have friends but just pretends to have friends because he is embarrassed about not having friends. 
• Most of his friends are girls and he is worried you’ll have a problem with it. 
• Maybe he is really socially awkward so prefers to keep his friends and relationship seperate. 
• His friends know some pretty saucy things about him that he’s worried you’ll find out about. 
A couple of bad reasons could be.... 
• Maybe he is dating one of his friends as well as you. Double life. 😐
• Maybe he doesn’t see himself being with you long term. 
• Maybe he is embarrassed by the relationship. 
I really don’t know. But I would be sitting him down for a serious chat and try get some answers out of him. When two people are in a relationship you share your lives together. His friends are a part of his life so I feel like you should know them too.

Answer

Women love, love, love to assume and none times out of ten it sabotages our relationships. I learned this the very hard way. If you guys have been together 14 months that’s a great sign! Most guys don’t commit or reach the 1 month mark. 
The best person to ask is him. Maybe his friends are d-bags? Maybe he has an ulterior motive, maybe he doesn’t. If it’s a red flag for you, discuss it with him so you can get more info. 
I have no friends and my husband maybe has 1 friend outside of work. That’s just us though. 
Ask your boyfriend about it for more clarification or just tell him you’d like to meet his friends.

Answer

I think this is a bit weird. So you helped him clean his apartment for a party with his friends that you weren’t Invited to?!  Has he met your friends? Have you mentioned that you’d like to meet his friends? Maybe suggest it and if he says no I would really be wondering why.

Answer

Been with my bf for 3 years and I haven't met his best friend. I meet the people he works wirh but not the most important one. he says it's cause he doesnt see him very often and he thinks I'll think his friend is odd or something..plus he gets really defensive when I even ask about his friend. so I just stopped asking

Answer

Fiancé and I have been together for 2 years, I’ve only met one of his friends. My fiancé doesn’t have to many friends. He and his friends have opposite work schedules and some are still in college (we are both 23 btw) so they have school and part time jobs they are busy with. He still chats with his friends, they know we are engaged, I just haven’t met all of them. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I guess it doesn’t really bother me as Ik he’s trustworthy. I don’t see it as a red flag unless you are having trust issues with him. Maybe just chat with him and tell him how you feel about not meeting at least one of his friends. Maybe he’s embarrassed of is friends, or scared you won’t like them and you’d make him choose between his friends or you? Maybe he acts like a douche when he’s around his friends and he doesn’t want you to see that side of him? Men can be weird about “the bros” sometimes.

Is this a red flag? 🚩

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