Don’t ignore your bodies!

Ok girls here’s a long ass story about how I found out I wasn’t pregnant.

Backstory:

I have anxiety and it’s pretty bad. It was made a whole load worse by university, graduation and the looming prospect that my arts degree was worthless. Last year it also became a whole load worse because I was sexually assaulted by someone I called a “friend”. After that it got so unbelievably unbearable that’s I completely swore off any intimate relationships until I got into a good head space.

Fast forward:

January this year. A, what I thought was, a nice guy added me on Facebook, he was a friend of one of my close friends. We started talking for a few months and got to know a lot about each other. We agreed to meet in the city where I live, in the town centre, and get coffee. He was really cute and I instantly fell. Next date come around and after grabbing something to eat we go to his house because it’s freezing and raining. At this point I think I’m cured of my anxiety and I’m all fine and well, I was so wrong.

Things got intimate, I immediately regretted it and left soon after it was over. I went straight home and cried about how stupid I had been, and how I was not at all ready for something like that to happen. I cut ties with him saying I’m not ready, he is pissed and tells me to f*ck off. I try and forget about it and move on with my life.

Fast forward again:

2 weeks, my period is a week late. I start to panic. We had used a condom but what if it had leaked or something? What if he has got some on this hands and touched me with it? I take a test and low and behold IT IS NEGATIVE. I test again in a few day, NEGATIVE. 5 tests later it’s still negative, I’m still convinced I’m pregnant (don’t ever google “what I’m in pregnant with negative tests” you WILL have a bad time) and I go to my doctor. They laugh at me and shove me out the door all the whole my periods are basically gone or very very very light after have regular on time heavy periods for the past 10 years.

Fast forward again (last time I promise):

3 months later by periods still are completely out of whack. Light, irregular, you name it. I’m having constant nausea, breast tenderness, cramps, constipation, fatigue, weight gain, everything point to me being pregnant.

I go back to the doctors and voice my concern and they again laugh at me and shove me out the door saying “just relax” when they know that’s not an option for me.

I’m at the end of the line, my anxiety and stress and through the roof, I wasn’t even able to enjoy infinity wars! I decide I am going to PAY for a test if the doctors won’t give me one.

I book a private ultrasound scan, not cheap let me tell you that, and head over to get the scan.

Low and behold I AM NOT PREGNANT thank Jesus 🙌🏻 but they found the cause of all my problems. I HAVE POLYCYSTIC OVARIES and a thin endometrial lining showing they are not working. This is something the doctors have never tested me for even though I just found out I have been having the symptoms of it for 6 whole years, weight gain, abdominal pain, heavy periods, then irregular periods and excess body hair. This has been the cause of all my anguish over the past 4 months and I’m so thankful to have had it finally diagnosed.

I have to actually thank my anxiety for playing up and making me not ignore my body, I knew something was wrong. But I’m not thanking it for making my body have pregnancy symptoms for 3 whole months. That’s cruel.

So GIRLS DONT IGNORE YOUR BODIES. Everything is happening for a reason and if you think something is up please go see your doctor and pray they are more proactive than mines! 💖🌈