Keeping my last name

Chloe

So I'm getting married to my favourite human in the world, which is great. But in the past when we talked hypothetically about marriage he would always say it would upset him if his wife didn't take his name. I never really thought I'd care about a name but now I'm starting to. The thing is my grandfather died recently and before he did, he expressed to my mum that the family name will die with him (as my uncle never had children, and all of my cousins changed their names when they were married). My mum then told him the name wouldn't die because I would keep it. I feel like now if I don't, I'm breaking her promise to him. But I also don't want to upset the man I'm planning my life with. Any advice? 🤔

202 views • 0 upvotes • 11 comments

COMMENT (11)

Mo

Posted at
I think that if the man you are planning your life with cares that much about a name, then he might not be in this for all the right reasons. If he truly loves you, he won’t care what name you have as long as you marry him. I think that if you explain to him your reasoning, then if he is a reasonable person, he will understand.I will tell you that my ex fiancé flipped the fuck out on me when I told him that I thought I might want to keep my name or hyphenate my name. He literally called me a stupid bitch and he would never marry me if I didn’t take his name. One of the many reasons why I broke it off.

Br

Posted at
Just do a hyphenated name 😊

Ch

Chloe • May 2, 2018
My name is already hyphenated 😂

Ca

Posted at
I'm hearing lots of opinions from the people around you, but what do YOU want? When you imagine yourself ten years from now, comfortably married, maybe (or maybe not) with kids, what name do you picture? It's ultimately your decision and everyone else will have to learn to respect that, even if they're disappointed at first. A few possible compromises to consider: 1) Find a way to blend your names together and each take the new combined name together. 2) Take your maiden name as your middle name, and your husband's name as your last name. 3) If you decide to have children, give them your maiden name as their middle name. Or name them in memory of family members who have since passed on.

Ka

Posted at
Have you talked to your fiancé about thins? He might understand and maybe even take your name too.

Me

Posted at
Make your maiden name your middle name and take his last name ? Either way unless you plan on giving your children your grandfathers last name the last name would still eventually die off when your time comes.

Ca

Posted at
I kept my maiden name when I got married. My sister and I are the last two with our name, I remember my Dad saying that it would die with us. I considered hyphenating but then I worried if we had all girls would they have to hyphenate an already hyphenated name? I know it’s a stretch, but after discussing it with my husband, we decided keeping my last name and giving it to our children was the right thing to do.

Je

Posted at
Favourite human 😂 I know someone who talks just like that 😂😂

K

Posted at
I kept my last name. Partly because there are very left to pass on the name, but mainly because I like my last name. My husband didn't care, and even considered taking my name. His last name is also already hyphenated, so I didn't want to take it. We haven't completely decided what name we would use for any kids we have. He has so many brothers that he doesn't seem that concerned with passing it on. Plus we both are able to rationally discuss important matters. But I think you should think about what you would like, and honestly if his reaction to taking his name is rational. You have an opinion and that should be considered.

Ki

Posted at
Hypentate. I did because the name does die with me. We plan on him hypentating when I get pregnant so we will all have the same last name.

Ma

Posted at
My fiancé and I both would want him to take my last name other than that person already exists.... because he and my brother have the same first name hahaha