Well it happened again, yesterday May 1. I received another BFP. I am 4 weeks, compared to online calculations. I go to the doctor tomorrow, May 3 to see. As you read below I don’t know whether to be happy, scared, or numb. Please pray!!!

September 2, 2017 I married my best friend. September 29, 2017 had a tubal reversal so we can have our own little miracle. December 9 it happened, I was pregnant. December 12 it became an ectopic pregnancy and had to terminate it. I was devastated but determined to keep trying, so we did! March 1 got two positive and so off to the doctor I go. She confirmed and I’m overly joyed be still cautious from the last hurt. April 6 was the scheduled sonogram to see my little bean. April 4 I started spotting, April 5 I’m bleeding with clots, no pain so I’m still hopeful. Call the doctor and they tell me to come in. I come in and it’s confirmed. The words I didn’t want to hear but knew already in my spirit, “bad pregnancy” is what she called it. I had a miscarriage. I’m 41 and ready to give up now and just enjoy life. I’m tired of the false hope and baby dreams. So if it happens it happens I’m no longer going to just focus on getting pregnant I’m going to focus on my family I have now. I’m getting to old for this!