7 years later I still get mad thinking about my pregnancy, and the first year of my child’s life.

I was 15 and living with my grandmother, I said I would home school and stay home with the baby so she wouldn’t have to take care of him but she told me no that I’d end up dropping out of school.

She told me not to be posting pictures of my stomach, and not to be putting it out there for the world to know.... When she went to school to talk with the administration about me being pregnant she shamed me in front of them.

She took me to all of my appointments but refused to go back with me.

When I was having Braxton Hicks contractions (which I didn’t know that’s what they were at the time) she refused to take me to the hospital so instead I had to call my drug addict mom.

When I went into actual labor she made me wait 5 hours before taking me to the hospital because I “wasn’t in enough pain.”

They admitted me after 10 minutes of monitoring and said I should have come in much earlier.

I gave birth on a Tuesday, left the hospital the following Thursday and was back in school on Monday. I only had 5 days to bond with my baby because she “didn’t want me to fall behind” even though the school gave me a month off and my teachers were supposed to email me my work.

After about two months she sent me and my new born baby to live with my drug addicted mother and her abusive drug addict boyfriend because she was “to old to care for a baby.”

My mom agreed to let me home school but the 1st year of my babies life was filled with screaming and cursing, me holding him so tight to my chest at night and covering his ears hoping he wouldn’t hear.

I didn’t get to enjoy the most important part of my babies life, I don’t even have pictures of me pregnant to show him.

And now that I’m 22,married to a wonderful man-who’s the only father my son has ever known- have a well paying job, and talking about ttc i feel guilty.... If we do have another baby I don’t want to do maternity pictures, or new born pictures because I don’t feel it will be far.

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For those who may want to know

My relationships with my grandma and mother are fine now (mom got clean and has been clean for 4 years) but when I think about my pregnancy or someone brings it up I get really angry and just want to shut down and cry.

When I turned 16 I got a job working night shift at a local pizzeria and paid my oldest sister to keep him for me so he wouldn’t be around the abuse. After a little while she told my mother I was moving in with her and if she didn’t let me leave she was calling the cops - that’s honestly one of the best things anyone has ever done for me...... I saved up enough money to buy a car, graduated high school with honors and some college credits, and kept that job for 2 1/2 years.

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I didn’t except to get so much attention let alone so much love! And everyone’s kind words aren’t falling on deaf ears, I’m trying really hard to move past it. It’s just hard because growing up I was never allowed to express myself or my emotions so I have a lot built up. But I’m working on it lol

For the few not so positive comments, I never wanted anyone to take responsibility for my child, that’s why I wanted to home school and why I got a job as soon as I was able to.....

And I do blame my grandmother for how she treated me I’m not going to lie......

Because it was the pot calling the kettle black, she had her first child at 16 but then wanted to publicly shame me for being a teen mom.

When I thought my baby was in distress and was begging her to go to the hospital she didn’t care, she REFUSED to take me.

When I went into labor I was only 32 weeks, MY GRANDMOTHER had called my doctor and she said to get to the hospital ASAP(due to my age and being 8 weeks early) but instead she made me wait 5 hours.

I never wanted her to take responsibility for my baby while I went out and party, I never wanted her to front the bill....... I SIMPLY WANTED HER TO CARE - that’s all.