So, I'm gonna be honest. I have kind of a rough home situation. My mom got was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer when I was four. Over the 3 years she struggled to stay alive, she spent most days in Calfornia ( all the way across thw country) for cemo therapy. I didn't get to see her face let alone get to know her. I was the youngest of her five children.

When she died I was seven years old, a sad and confused child. I didn't fully realize what was happening at the time, all I knew was she was gone and wasn't coming back. My dad took her death very hard. He got tough, sent us to live with our grandma.

It's been over five years now, and we have started to heal, slowly. But I know that there will always be a scar.

When we are young, we are so sure. We don't doubt that we are doing the right things. We don't even doubt how we look and act. But as we mature, we seem to loose that. We begin to realize how we look. How we act. And that others see us, too.

There is a boy at my school. You could even call him a bad boy. But let's just say he helped me with that. Helped me realize how ugly I am. Him and my dad.

So why do I try? I never attract, I'm not pretty, and I'm very very ugly? So why do I try?