So My hubby and I were talking last night.... we were on our way home last night from being at my sister in laws and I was just so emotional and feeling really down. I ended up just bawling my eyes out and the hubby told me to pull over so he could drive. So I did. Well, we stood outside the car for a few minutes talking. I told him how the other day with Our son ( lmy step son) how it upset me and got to me. ( little run down why: the day before my son threw a tantrum and said he didn’t like his dad. His mother lets him do what he wants, when he wants and doesn’t have a bedtime or rules really. But when he comes to our house he does. But he hardly ever gets in trouble at our house. We take him to do fun things and spend time with him doing arts and crafts. But since we have rules and bedtime and nap time for him, he doesn’t like it. He only likes to come over if it’s his idea. But when he’s told that he’s going to his dads house for the weekend , he doesn’t like it. Oh and she talks crap about us in front of him. So that doesn’t help either) Anyways I Then told him how being around one of my sister in laws is kind of hard for me, because not only is she pregnant and I'm jealous but she doesn't seem to want to talk to me as much like we used to before she was pregnant. I went on to tell him that another reason for me crying is because so many people around me are pregnant and or just had a baby and all I get are false positives... so, he was like I understand. And told me maybe I actually didn't have false positives. Because almost everytime that I ended up with a positive or semi positive, it was very long afterward that I ended up with major cramps for days and Huge blood clots. He was like maybe it's not you being infertile. Maybe I just have some balances off that needs to be fixed so the baby can stick and get past the first part of pregnancy.

Just been really hard for me lately and I’ve been emotional and I feel like a horrible person for feeling this way. Like, I’m super happy for them. They got what they wanted. 😁 But i can’t help but feel jealousy about them getting pregnant. Especially those that have had other kids already and don’t seem to have a problem getting pregnant. Does anyone else feel this way?