I was admitted to the labor and delivery ward on April 30th with preeclampsia with severe features. For three days they monitored my blood pressure and tried to keep it down but I was still hitting levels in the 180/120s. I was kept on an IV of magnesium but even this wasn’t helping after several days.

On Thursday I was scheduled for an ultrasound to check the size of the baby. My husband had to work and we didn’t expect anything crazy so my mom came to the hospital to be with me during it. Everything was going fine except she was measuring two weeks behind. Because my blood pressure was so high, she wasn’t getting the blood she needed to grow. I was told right then that that day would be birthday for my baby.

Because she was in a good position, they tried to induce first. After two doses of the cervix medicine (I can’t remember the name, as I was pretty out of it) I hadn’t dilated at all and the baby was starting to have her heart rate dip. My blood pressure was even more dangerously high so a decision was made to do an immediate C section. My husband got ready to suit up and meet me in the OR. But the epidural didn’t work! I had it put in, but I could still feel all of their pinch tests and my legs, much to the annoyance of the anesthesiologist. Finally, they decided to knock me out altogether. A few deep breaths later, I was a mother.

I woke up to my doctor and my husband telling me everything had gone well. I had survived and my babe had come out crying. They rushed her off to NICU and I wasn’t able to see her until almost 24 hours later.

I never experienced a single birth pain, contraction, or push. I still haven’t held my babe. I hadn’t even learned yet what to expect during labor or come up with a “birth plan”. It is altogether the weirdest “birth” I could imagine. But I have never been so grateful, so full of love, and so hopeful. My tiny fighter is strong and doing well in NICU. She is perfect in every way. She’s making progress every day and I can’t wait to bring her home. She’s my reason for being.

Welcome to the world Tallulah Lee. I adore you